These Words
by AnotherGirlWithAStory
Summary: Teddy stopped mid-movement. "Are you saying that maybe something happened between them? Between my dad and Sirius?" Harry shrugged. "Not at all. I am merely saying that some things you do not write down. That does not mean that it never happened or that it was any less true."


**Title** : These Words

 **Pairing** : Sirius x Remus

 **Characters** : Teddy Lupin

 **Word Count** : 1, 797

* * *

Teddy Lupin knew exactly who Sirius Black was. He knew that way before he found the picture of the marauders in the album where Harry had put all the photographs from his parent's past. Teddy did not even have to read the writing underneath saying who was who.

Sirius Black was the man with brown semi-long hair that seemed to always lie precisely where it was supposed to be. He had the kind of eyes that could burn straight into your soul and make you reveal your most secret thoughts. He was considered handsome by most people. Teddy could see why. He knew that the man sitting on Sirius left was James. He knew it from his messy black hair, the crooked smile and the way he would laugh with his entire body. As if he had no worries in the world. His own father sat on Sirius right with a sombre smile on his face. Though he was the calmest in the picture he was as radiating as the other two. Remus received people's attention not for being loud but because there was something in those bright eyes that you could not ignore. The picture was burned just next to Remus and took along part of his left leg. Peter had been there. _The traitor_.

Yep, Teddy Lupin knew who they were. He knew Sirius Black. What he did not know was that this man at some point in his life had been head over heels in love with one of his best friends, Teddy's father. Remus Lupin.

 _How could Harry not have seen this?_

Teddy wondered as he walked down the stairs to find his godfather. Sure, it was a muggle picture meaning that the people were not moving around. That could have been a reason. But still! Teddy could see it clear as day. By the way Sirius hand rested on the back of Remus chair allowing for his fingers to touch Remus left shoulder; and the way he glanced that way. Whoever had taken the picture must have given them a warning. A short one. Because Sirius eyes were clearly directed at Remus but they were halfway moving to focus on something else making it almost look as if he had not been looking at Remus at all.

"Harry, have you seen this photo?" Teddy asked once he entered his godfather's office.

Or office probably was not the right word. It was more of a fun room. A fun room where Harry could get away and do whatever he wanted to. Most of the time he looked into his family or kept himself posted on what was going on in the league.

Harry leaned forward and squinted at the photo. He smiled. "I have seen it before, yes. I think my mother took it. Why is something wrong with it?"

Teddy pointed at Sirius. "Look at him. Do you see anything strange or maybe just special about him?"

Harry looked at the photo in silence before shaking his head. "No, but I assume from your question that I am supposed to. What am I supposed to see?"

"Do you see the way he is looking at my dad?"

Harry's smile grew and he nodded. "Sure, I do. It is quite remarkable how falling in love with someone can change you."

Teddy did not attempt to hide the look of confusion on his face. "So, he told you?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I am pretty sure that he never told anyone. Probably not even your dad."

"Then how did you know?"

Harry winked. He stood up and gestured for Teddy to follow him as he walked through his _office_ and stopped on the other side of the room in front of a grand bookshelf. Just the one shelf held up by magic seeing as Harry was never too keen on books. The black-haired man squinted and tapped the tip of his fingers against his lips as he looked at the various books with a slightly tilted head. A big smile spread across his face as he found what he was looking for and then he gently stretched for a torn-up book. The way Harry held it Teddy almost believed that it was made out of solid gold.

Harry handed him the book. Teddy looked at him in disbelief. "What is this?"

"Say Moony."

Teddy's frown deepened. "Why?"

"Just say it," Harry insisted. "I promise you that nothing bad is going to happen."

"Moony."

The book opened and the pages turned themselves over in such a speed that Teddy could not see anything that was written until the pages finally stopped moving. He was supposed – with a whiny sound of voice – ask his godfather if he was supposed to _read_ all of that when he saw his father's name. No one could blame Sirius Black for writing neatly. There were stains of ink every other row and he only corrected some of the words he spelled wrong. Teddy backed into the chair that stood on the opposite side of his godfather's desk and leaned back into it. Completely unaware of the smile Harry gave him.

 _I am going to write the truth once and only once. I am not doing it because I am a good person who wants to make some kind of change in the world. I will not do that by writing down the truth in some book that will probably end up getting lost amongst the piles of trash that my parents have collected over the years. They have this idea that our stuff will end up in a museum one day but I seriously doubt it. Regardless of what happens I hope that this truth falls in the right hands._

 _My name is Sirius Orion Black. I consider myself cursed. The fact that I was born into this family proves my point. The second thing that proves my point is the fact that I am in love with my best friend. One of them anyway. I have been in denial about it for years. But the other night I finally came to the realisation that the love I feel for him is completely different than the love I feel for James. He makes my heart beat faster. His touch makes the hair on my arms to stand and whenever he smiler or laughs I do the same. No matter how long he hugs me I am never happy. His hugs never last long enough. But I will never tell him that._

 _For most part of my life people has been telling me how to act, what to say, what to do and who to love. Ever since I was old enough to know better I have been arguing and struggling against these people just for the sake of showing them that they cannot control me. I have done things and said things just for the sake of upsetting them. This is not one of the things that I should flaunt everywhere. I am not ashamed; that is not the reason that I do not flaunt it. But some words are not meant to be used as a weapon. Some words are not meant to be spoken at all. Sometimes, not everyone needs to hear everything. But I still feel the need to write them down. So, here we go._

 _I love Remus Lupin, probably more than I will ever be able to express in simple words. I have been telling myself for so many years that I can cope with being just his friend. That is no lie. I have to cope with being just his friends if I want him in my life. And I do. I still love him. Even if I cope. I can never tell him that I love him. I can never tell him how much it hurts me to see him hurt or that I would do anything to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to him; or that I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I just love him. So much. For now, I will not tell him. It would not be right. But maybe someday._

Teddy smiled. There was very little he could do other than that. The love declaration was not out of this world. It was the mere ramblings of a teenage boy presumably at some point in the middle of the night based on the sheer sloppiness of his writing. It was honest and it was pure. There were more emotions in that one page than it was in many books.

Teddy glanced at his godfather. "So, the password was Moony? He wrote a so-called declaration of love to a person and then sealed it with the worst password in the entire world."

Harry laughed. "He was a teenager when he came up with it and Sirius never claimed to be the most intelligent person in the world. He was good at so many things but coming up with passwords was not his forte. Besides, sometimes the passwords that are supposed to be the worst works the best."

"And he never told my dad?"

Harry shrugged. "To my knowledge he did not."

"I find it sad." Teddy eventually said.

Harry leaned onto his forearms and squinted at Teddy. "Do you really?"

Teddy nodded. "Sirius never found out if my dad ever felt the same. It could have been like one of those epic stories that Victoire never stops reading. But Sirius never gave their friendship a chance to grow into something more."

"I suppose that is one way of looking at it." Harry nodded.

"How do you look at it?"

Harry shrugged. "I think that it is beautiful, sad and heartbreakingly honest. You can look at it and see the sadness of the story but you can also see the genuine love between the two. It is what kept their friendship alive for all those years. In my eyes that cannot be anything but beautiful. As for epic loves that never happened; I believe that everyone has at least one of those."

Teddy frowned. "Who was yours?"

Harry smiled. "I am not telling you."

Teddy mockingly groaned. "I guess I will go and look for your diary. You probably pulled a Sirius and wrote about it to make sure that you would not forget."

Harry laughed out loud as his godson left his office. "Some things you do not have to write down to remember."

Teddy stopped mid-movement. "Are you saying that maybe something happened between them? Between my dad and Sirius?"

Harry shrugged. "Not at all. I am merely saying that some things you do not write down. That does not mean that it never happened or that it was any less true."

 **The end**


End file.
